Around the Bluhmin’ Town
Spring has arrived! It’s not the weather, the calendar, the cooing doves, appearance of humming birds or flowers in bloom that tell me the season – it’s the beating of rugs, washing of windows, cleaning of pot shelves, and organizing of closets. Yes, Dear Readers, ‘tis the season of “Spring Cleaning,” which is not to be confused with “Spring Break.” In other words, all manner of hard work and organizing have turned my little abode upside down.
My mother taught me that if you don’t do a proper “Spring Cleaning” it’s a sin. This “crime of neglect” is punishable with the constant worry of bedding that is teeming with dust-mites, dust-balls the size of cannons collecting in all obscure places, and any number of “bad, dirty things” that can take over your happy home. Take those comforters to the cleaners! Wash those windows and curtains! Overcome the disorganized mess called your closet and start “letting go” of the clothes that you no longer wear. Are we having fun yet?
I was ruthless with my closet! A small ladder, a feather duster and bags labeled “Goodwill” are all that I needed for a perfect evening. First, I started on my husband, Doug’s side of the closet (Doug, if you are reading this please stop right now). As “organizing experts” claim, it is always easier to straighten up another person’s mess. But looking at my side of the closet was daunting. What was I thinking when I bought that ugly orange blouse or that dreadful dress?
Psychologists claim that the real truth about a person’s character could be found by looking through someone’s closet. Forget DNA or fingerprints, the “true you” is inside your closet door! Evidently, over seventy percent of Americans keep clothes that don’t fit (representing who we used to be), plus clothes that we never wear but would like to (reflecting who we want to become). My ninety-four-year-old mother kept three evening gowns in her closet, as a reminder of the times she went ballroom dancing with Dad. My girlfriend keeps a brand new jogging suit hung in plastic, just in case she ever starts exercising.
I have a pair of suede stiletto heels that I bought years ago. They would kill me if I tried to stand in them for more than five minutes and I doubt I could walk ten feet without tripping. What possessed me to buy these devilish shoes? I also have a few pairs of strappy, little sandals. Where the heck would I wear them? Black lace shoes? Ridiculous! Hmm, I found out the other night a few things about myself by looking at my shoes…and it wasn’t exactly what I expected.
Boots, solid sandals, and flats stay. I know I’m supposed to keep a pair of plain black shoes to wear with a black suit in case I have to go to a funeral. Well, I defiantly tossed the depressing suit and shoes, so now I’m breaking all the rules. I found out that giving things away feels a whole lot better than keeping “stuff” around. However, I am left to ponder my purchasing decisions when I look at some of the clothes I am donating. Oh, did I mention that I had a belt that looked like a gun holster? Yikes, I could have scared the grandkids!
My husband hasn’t yet noticed that his favorite (worn thin) denim shirt is missing. He had a few ties with bright geometric designs that had to go, and I’ve completely organized his clothes to the point where I am afraid he’ll never find anything. Oh, but there are other mountains to climb, such as a desk and file cabinets to sort through and a garage that is beckoning. Spring has arrived, Dear Readers, so get out the vacuum, boxes, garbage bags and cleaning supplies. While you are at it, take the true “personality test” and see what’s in your closet. Hmmm…let me know what you find. Oh, and if anyone wants a white cowboy hat with peacock feathers, give me a quick call. It’s fabulous (actually more like grotesque)! Happy organizing!
Judy Bluhm is a writer and a local realtor. Have a comment or a story? Email Judy at firstname.lastname@example.org.